WINTER’S SOUL

I keep the veneer clean and polished

No one sees beyond its sheen

The meek and shuddering cries alike I keep hidden deep where they dwell

I cannot allow them to see the light

Never admitting others into this hell hidden within

You see the me that invites a kind word, smile, laugh or nod

I struggle to keep the façade in place

Imagining your disgust and revolution of my true inner self would be too much

This is my daily toil and charge

In the night my calloused heart attempts to breathe

It struggles to hold the sadness – the madness propagating, multiplying

Pressure builds and the nightmares come

Even in slumber I have no solace or rest

I must prop up and hold the barrier to keep the damnation of my Winter’s soul at bay

In my dreams people see the real me and I want to die

Brokenness is too kind a word

Morning brings the cold reality of polishing the veneer

Another day of hiding in plain sight

Smiling, I will hold the abomination that is stealthily stalking behind my eyes

A jail within

A mirage without